


(Don't Be Such A) Modern Stranger

by ManicVolcanic



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, evelton just wants to be taken seriously, forrest is an empath, mentions of forrest/ollie notarobot, squid speaks in lower case, the whole team shows up in a few places
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29853657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManicVolcanic/pseuds/ManicVolcanic
Summary: The Crabs have been Up for a very long time. They've gotten rather used to only having themselves to talk to, but Forrest Best has found a new entity and, with it, a new opportunity.(or, the Crabs came back down with an extra player, and I wanted to know why)
Relationships: Forrest Best & Evelton McBlase II, Forrest Best & Squid Galvanic
Kudos: 11





	(Don't Be Such A) Modern Stranger

The stadium was supposed to be empty, aside from Forrest Best.

It had been empty for who knows how long before now. The Crabs’ post-ascension games had stopped however long ago, so there was no reason for anyone to be in it. The team still used the dugout as a coordination point, but… after a while, they stopped having things to coordinate. There wasn’t anything to  _ do _ in the Up, aside from play ball, and they weren’t playing ball any more. The streets of not-quite-Baltimore outside, somehow drained of their color, had been empty, too, ever since the team had arrived. 

Forrest still liked to come here, though. The field felt familiar in his legs. The ruts in the basepaths, the feeling of the grass, the stadium lights… they were the same. In a world where everything was different, this was held constant. So Forrest spent much of his time running laps around the bases. Maybe he was hoping that eventually the scoreboard would tick up from zero to one, show any signs of life in a dead city. It never did.

But the stadium wasn’t empty this time. Was that… some kind of squid? Yes, a squid, probably, colored deep blues and rich purples and scattered white spots like the night sky, hovering slightly above the pitcher’s mound and looking very, very lost.

Forrest hadn’t seen anyone other than his fellow Crabs in a long, long time. This could be good news, perhaps, but odds of that were slim. He tried to stay out of sight behind the dugout wall, but…

“oh hey.”

Damn. Spotted. Forrest stood up, then gave the squid a terse wave. It hovered over to Forrest, tentacles dangling inches above the ground.

“you’re a crab, right?” the squid burbled. “the player, i mean, not the animal. but also kind of the animal, i guess.”

Forrest nodded once. Might as well see where this was going.

“i’ve been looking all over for you guys,” the squid continued. “kinda figured you’d all be here but i’ve been here for a bit and nobody showed. was about to leave too, but then you showed up, so that’s pretty good timing i guess.”

Forrest tapped the floor impatiently, gesturing for the squid to get to the point.

“yeah, yeah, sure. anyway i have some pretty big news for you guys. something important is going on downstairs and it involves you all so i figured you’d want to know. where’s the rest of you?”

Forrest studied the creature in front of him. It was… not physically very intimidating, at least at first glance. A head or so taller than him, perhaps, but only in thin, unassuming tentacles. If this was a trick, it was either a very bad one or a very good one. Damn. Forrest needed another opinion.  _ Stay here. I’ll be right back, _ he signed.

“oh, sign language. knew i should have taken that in college. uh... yeah, sure, just… do whatever, i’ll be here i guess.”

Forrest added “interpreter” into his mental checklist right after “second opinion,” then scuttled out of the dugout and out of the stadium.

* * *

Forrest knew who he  _ wanted _ to ask for advice. The person on the team who always knew exactly what to say, even if it was nothing at all; whose steadfast will anchored him in times of unease; who understood his problems as much as he understood hers. But Nagomi McDaniel had been robbed of her ascension, and Evelton McBlase II was in her place. Oh well, you take what you can get. Evelton, at least, was always in a fixed location.

Evelton had set up shop in a section of the not-city’s maintenance tunnels not long after their ascension. Evelton had been very excited to “finally have his own secret underground base” even though it wasn’t a secret from the rest of the Crabs, and therefore wasn’t a secret from anybody in the tri-state area. Until now, Forrest mused as he approached the hatch that lead down under the streets. If that squid was following him, he wouldn’t be able to get in here.

Forrest pounded on the door to Evelton’s… lair? Lair sounded good. Forrest had tried more polite knocking in the past, but there was only about a fifty-fifty chance Evelton would be in earshot in his underground maze. Sure enough, Evelton opened the hatch by a crack. “Who’s there?”

Forrest rapped on the hatch again, tap-tap-knock-tap.  _ F _ in Morse code -- Evelton’s idea. Evelton did, in fact, have good ideas occasionally.

Evelton threw open the hatch. “Ah, my most loyal henchman! Come in, come in.”

Forrest slipped down into the maintenance tunnels, closing the hatch behind him. The two of them walked carefully through the narrow halls, lined with various corkboards, worktables, and monitors displaying not much at all. Thick blots of dried black ink coated the floor, presumably having dripped from the seams of Evelton’s containment suit. When they finally arrived in a large central hub, Evelton yanked a swivel chair out from against a bench and plunked down into it. “So, my friend. I take it you need something?”  
_Advice,_ Forrest signed.

Evelton leaned forward, suddenly all business. “Advice? That’s, um, that’s a new one. Advice on what?”

_ A squid showed up. _

“Ah, well, squids aren’t nearly as useful as eels for my research, so I’m afraid-- Ack, hey!” Evelton spluttered after Forrest leaned forward and flicked his white mask. “Yes, fine, right. What’s important about it anyway?”

_ It said it had something to tell us. The whole team. I don’t know whether to trust it. _

“A squid told you that.”

_ Yes. _

“What’s its name?”

_ Don’t know. _

“Where did it come from?”

_ Don’t know. _

“What does it want to say?”

_ Don’t know. _

“Was it lying?”

_ How should I know? I’m not a lie detector. _

“Hah. No, you aren’t. You’re more far more accurate than the average polygraph, as far as I’m concerned. So what do you think?”

Forrest thought back.  _ Was _ the squid lying? It had felt… nervous, perhaps, but not maliciously so. Forrest hadn't felt any confidence emanating from it at all. And it had been genuinely unsure of where to find the team, he knew that much. All in all…

_ No, it wasn’t lying. _

Evelton clapped his hands together and stood. “Well! In that case, it sounds like you’ve made up your mind. Shall I grab the others?”

Forrest would have cracked a smile if he could.  _ Please, _ he signed.  _ Do you know where they are? _

“Not… as such, no,” Evelton said, rubbing at where his thick rubber gloves touched his inky skin. “Do you?”

Forrest tilted his hand side to side.  _ Eh. _

“Right. We’d better get a move on, then! I’d hate to keep our guest waiting.” Evelton swept back down the hall the way they had entered. Forrest scuttled to catch up.

_ It would be rude. Can’t have that, _ he signed.

“Can’t have that,” Evelton chirped in response, throwing the hatch above them open.

* * *

The rest of the team wasn’t actually all that hard to find. Bertie Tosser, Brock Forbes, Tot Fox, and Finn James were all at the Up equivalent of their apartment, a few more were staying in Kennedy Loser’s house, and the rest were apparently in the garage Pedro had commandeered for something or another. Forrest was glad to have an excuse to go for a run again. Evelton was less glad to have been unceremoniously picked up and carried throughout the city, but Forrest knew he’d stop minding after a bit.

They finally arrived back at the stadium. Evelton and Forrest had filled the team in on what little details they had, and everyone had agreed to at least check it out, with varying degrees of caution. Slowly, hesitantly, the team filtered into the stadium.

Forrest could feel the tension mount as they entered the field. The squid was above the pitcher’s mound, exactly where Forrest had left it. It didn’t notice their approach. It also didn’t notice their arrival. It still didn't notice Evelton waving his hand in front of its face. On closer inspection, it was… fast asleep. Hm. Forrest jabbed it with a crab leg.

The squid woke with a start. “buh! uh. oh. oh hey, uh, how long have… you all been here… haha…”

At the front of the crowd, Kennedy Loser spoke first. “Hello. We heard you had something to tell us.”

“oh, right, yeah, got big news. real big news. so, you know, don’t freak out, but the Boss downstairs -- that’s with a capital B -- has had you guys lined up for the expansion protocol for a while now --”

“The what?” Parker Parra interrupted.

“More teams.” replied Brock.

“right, that’s it, more teams, three more and then you guys. but some kinda accident went down or something, i dunno the details really, and the Boss needs to activate it early. so i guess they want you back.”

“Back,” Luis Acevedo repeated slowly. “Back, as in… back down?”

“yeah, as in back down. though i guess it’s not real different down there from up here, aside from the whole being in a black hole thing. that is, you’re in a black hole, not everyone else. but i guess it’s all the same either way, cause you can't--”

“You said we can go back down,” Luis repeated.

“yyyyyes.”

The entire team stared at the squid, then glanced at each other. Nobody moved or spoke. Then, in the back of the crowd, Pedro dropped to his knees. “Holy shit. Holy  _ shit. _ ”

The dam burst. Everyone exploded into a whirlwind of excited chatter, the team’s emotions running hotter than they had in ages. Forrest pressed his hands to his head and stepped away from the group. All the excitement was giving him a headache, and besides, this idle chatter was unhelpful. 

“ **Team!** ” Forrest boomed. Everyone froze and looked at him.  _ Let’s save the celebrations until we’re actually down, _ he continued in sign.  _ For now, we need more information.  _ Then, he gestured for the squid to continue.

“uh, right. thanks i guess,” the squid stammered. “so, i’m not really sure how you all got up here in the first place, but i guess it can’t have been too easy to get out or you would have done it already. but i guess you all could probably follow me out the way i came in?”

Kennedy nodded. “Sounds good. How’d you come in?”

“well there’s a little crack down in the Trench, you know, like where the Hall is. that’s where i came from actually, the Monitor dude told me to come get you all on Boss’ orders. anyway it’s kind of deep but i figured since becoming crabs is, like, you guys’ thing i guess, you all can probably swim pretty good and follow me back through?”

Bevan Underbuck huffed in frustration. “Sorry, but… I can’t swim.”

“Me neither, but--” Evelton chimed.

Baldwin Breadwinner whirled to face them. “You two spent  _ how _ long in Hawai’i and you  _ never learned to swim? _ ”

“Hey, I’ve got hooves! It’s not my fault!” Bevan cried, raising his hands in defense. “And Eviltwin’s made of ink, he’d just dissolve or something.”

“Well, yes, but--” Evelton began.

“Besides,” Bevan continued, “just because you can swim doesn’t mean you can dive down to the deepest point of the ocean.”

(“I can!” bubbled Finn. “Thanks, Finn,” leveled Tosser.)

“Ugh, whatever. We can’t just leave you two behind, so we’ll find another way out.” Baldwin turned to the squid. “Are there any other options?”

“i mean, that’s the only option i got, at least. if there’s another way out, i guess you all gotta find it yourselves.”

"But we--"

“Oh, perfect!” Baldwin threw her hands in the air. “Wonderful. Guess we gotta drown, then _un_ -drown in order--”

“Just  _ listen _ to me!!”

All eyes turned to the source of the outburst. There, at the center of everyone’s attention, stood Evelton McBlase II, who was suddenly feeling very, very small. “I. Um. I just wanted to ask… would a submarine fit into the crack in the Trench?”

The squid nodded. “oh yeah, sure, that would work if you’ve got one.”

Baldwin cackled. “A submarine. A submarine! Sure, why not. Let’s just go out and get a submarine! Where in the  _ world _ are we going to find a  _ submarine? _ ”

Forrest tapped the ground for attention.  _ Evelton has a submarine, actually. _

Baldwin's eyebrows shot to the moon. “You what.”

Evelton shrank from Baldwin’s gaze. “I thought… I thought it might come in handy, so…”

Baldwin laughed. “You know what? Good thinking. Does it work?”

“It… it does, yes. Or at least it did when I got it.”

Baldwin gave him a crooked grin. “In that case, what are we waiting for? Come on, team, let’s go get packed up for a submarine journey while Eviltwin shows us where it’s parked!”

Evelton beamed. Forrest did too, though nobody noticed.

* * *

Forrest didn’t have anything to pack. He hadn’t intentionally brought anything with him when the team ascended, only the things that had been in his jacket pockets. He patted himself down, making sure everything was there. His lockpicks… check. His knife… check. His fallen star… check. The CD… check. Everything in its place. He clambered into the submarine that Evelton had swiped from somewhere or another and stored under the bay.

Evelton and Pedro Davids were inside already. Evelton was excitedly chattering about the different controls and gauges to Pedro, who was mostly following along. Pedro, for his part, was missing his iconic RV. He’d said he “didn’t need it any more,” whatever that was supposed to mean, but he did still have a very heavy-looking device on his back. Forrest supposed old habits were hard to break.

The squid was also there, hovering near the back of the main space inside the submarine. It turned to face him. “oh, hey. forrest, was it? listen... can i ask you for a really, really big favor?”

Forrest nodded, then held up a finger. He scuttled over to where the other two were talking.  _ Evelton _ , he signed,  _ can I borrow you for a moment? _

Evelton beamed. “Most certainly!” Then, to Pedro, “Submarines really aren’t too complicated when you get down to it. You’ll be fine.” Evelton followed Forrest over to the squid.

“oh, you too, huh,” the squid mused. “alright, here goes. listen... coming to get you guys, out here, it was… i don’t wanna call it a suicide mission, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s that kind of thing, you know?”

Forrest nodded.

“right, right, you know, so like, i said i was from the trench, right, the hall, and i’m down there doing menial stuff, cleaning the trophies and all that, and then they tell me to go into a black hole to grab a team that hates the gods and all, and... well, a squid can’t help but feel like they’re trying to be gotten rid of, you know? so i was thinking, you know, what if i joined the team?”

_ You must be insane _ , signed Forrest.

“You must be joking,” translated Evelton. Sure, close enough.

“no, no, see, listen, i had this buddy, right? got this gig as an umpire, which is nice enough, but then the whole incinerating people thing happens and they don’t want any part of it any more. so apparently they got out of their contract by joining a team. goes by, what was it, coolname galvanic now or something, cause they couldn’t use the same name as an umpire, right, but the Boss and everyone don’t look too closely at the players. so it’ll work, but i guess i just need you guys to be on board with it. i know you probably gotta talk to everyone first, but… you could put in a good word for me, i guess?”

Forrest absently touched the CD in his jacket pocket. Oliver Notarobot had given it to him before their second championship for good luck. Forrest liked to think it worked. On the inside of the jewel case, Ollie had written him a note. Forrest didn’t know how many times he’d read it since the ascension. He knew it by heart by now. It read:

> When I had nothing, I had you. You’ll always be in my corner, and I’ll always be on your side. Your dearest friend, Ollie.

Forrest ran his fingers over the ridged edge of the jewel case. Ah, what the hell. He nodded to the squid before he could change his mind.

“you’ll... you’ll really do it?”

Forrest nodded again.  _ What’s your name? We’ll need something to call you. _

“They’ll need a name for the roster,” Evelton translated. He was beginning to get a bit liberal with his translations, but it would do.

“uh, well, i don’t really have a name. maybe…”

“You can be my protégé, Evelton McBlase III!”

Forrest swatted at him.

“Ack! Well, maybe not, then,” Evelton giggled.

“uh... maybe… galvanic. squid. squid galvanic. i guess.”

“That’s a ridiculous name.”

“says  _ evelton mcblase the second. _ ”

“Whatever! My name is _villainous_. I’ll try to think of a better one for you. In the meantime--”

“TEAM!” called Kennedy from the middle of the submarine. The rest of the Crabs had filtered into the sub while the three of them were talking. “Last chance to go back and get something you missed. Any objections?”

Silence.

“Good. Ready to head home?”

Loud cheering erupted from almost every member of the Crabs. Forrest pumped his fist lightheartedly, too. Home sounded really nice right about now.

“Alright, Captain Davids, let’s set sail.”

Pedro started the submarine, and the team set off for the Trench.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from UMO - Hunnybee. I went into a fugue state writing this, which was kind of fun. Highly recommended once in a while.


End file.
